~Vae-Halo3

I STILL LOVE ALL OF YOU THAT COME AND VISIT MY PAGE OF ART-NESS! DDX I LOVE YOU ALL WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY HEART.

=___= Yeah... I'm sorry... And I really don't want to put this out there for everyone to read... But... I feel like this is the only other way to get it off my chest than to go and bear my soul to people...

...okay...so... First off... I was working today.... Yes. I tend to work... but... That's not the problem. You see, my co-workers and I where in the back haveing a small bite to eat. We get hungry on the job and we're really not supposed to eat, but if we do it in the back, it's alright. But these two girls where just like "HARHARHAR!!!" and eating in the front of the kitchen, not to mention when they came into the damn kitchen they nearly made about 28 glasses crash to the floor because one couldn't stop hitting the other. Meanwhile, my friend was CLEARLY not having a good day, and I was trying to make him feel better. Well, sure enough, these two girls appearently had it out for my friend. They made him bus on a cart with 3 people.... MEANWHILE a DAMN BUSSING CART'S ONLY SUPPOSED TO HAVE 2 PEOPLE ON IT. ANYMORE IS CROWDING. And when he tried to break away so we could actually catch up with time and start cleaning the damn tables, the girls where like "Hey! You where bussing! Come back and finish the job!" He argued that there where only supposed to be 2 people on a cart and we could try and get back on scedual if we whiped down the tables. Well... they convinced himm to get the 2nd cart... which he did reluctantly. So I had to clean about one half of the dining room by myself... =___= WASN'T THAT LOVELY?! Anywho... When that was finished, I told them I had to vaccuum. And the two freaking dunderheads left my one friend to clean the rest of the dining room on his own while they did placemats and napkins. I started getting pissed because one, he's my friend and it was OBVIOUS he wasn't having a good day, and two they where giving themselves all the eazy jobs. OH... THERE'S TWO THINGS I AVBSOLUTELY LOVE... One) When they where bussing, and I was cleaning the tables... they went up to him and told him specifically which resident didn't like him.... and they also told him that almost no residents liked him. He stood there with that blank look on his face, but I was standing there and looked at them like... "What the fuck?! What did he do to make you guys hate him so fucking bad?" Granted he does have a ton of energy, but what guy doesn't?! And two) While the "Right" sisters started reseting (vaccuming at this time) I told them that they didn't neeed two people on plates. One of them said "Well, there's no cart to put the silverware on". I really wanted to ripp her scalp off. Okay... because you probably have no clue what I'm talking about the plate cart is set up with enough dishes for about 27 tables. there's a self underneath the top one with teh dishes on it with a ton of silverware for reseting the dining room. Now, knowing that one could simply reach underneath the top shelf, grab a handful of silverware and then just go on their merry way.... They decided to do plates instead. =___= I finished vaccuming and helped out the one person on forks and knives and then I started snarling and growling. <___< believe it or not, when I'm pissed in reality, I'll start growling. Anywho... You see, what pisses me off is that when the two girls are together, they think everything they do is right or can be simply explained. THIS IS NOT THE DAMN CASE. You see, alone, they're managable and understandable, but when they're together they're like a bunch of fucking preteens in teh fact taht they havce to talk and giggle and believe they're always right. =___= I really hope they're not there wendsday, because then I'll have to tear them a new asswhole. <___< I feel bad that I didn't defend my friend. But I was planning.... I was very deep within my plans. I won't tell you my plans. Because then it counts as premeditation. *sigh*... And that's the gyst of that one...

...Yeah, I'm not done yet. I've been very very fearful lately as well... I'm scared for college... but what freshman wouldn't be? I mean, if I knew a few people I was going to school with, then maybe I'd be a bit better, but I don't think so. You see, since life grabbed back whatever balls I had, I've been very cynical. I'm also lacking the confidence I once had in my artwork.... I'm so scared.... I believe... that I'm really not suited for this... Especially with the getting the car and learning to drive and tuition and work and.... as you can tell my head's basically full to bursting with that. I really don't know what else to say other than that I am really scared. These people are like... excelent artists! And the only reason I got in was because of my creativity. At least that's what i like to believe. <___< I think it was a fluke too... Whatever the case.... rawr.... I'm.... really.... f reaked.....

....AND MORE RANTING! THough... This is more deviant art related...

I've noticed lately that everyone around me has been getting subscriptions to Devart... And I've been looking at all the cool stuff they've been able to do because of it. I love what they can do now! I really do! Don't get me wrong, I love their art and think they deserve every last bit of that subscription!.... but.... I think i'm a little jealous too... I like what they can do.... and I wanna do it too... but... at the moment, I can't afford it... Probably not for another twenty years will I be able to afford it... And... that get's me a little down because... as much as I hate saying it... I like the attention too... it just seems that everyone is having a grand time... and I feel left out... I like believeing that everyone with a subscription is a class higher than I am... and it kinda deflates what little ego I have left and kills whatever self esteem I've been building... I wanted to get that off my chest before I started snapping at people. Because.... i really do think they deserve it and that they should use every second of it as they wish... Meh... I'm just being a kid again... I tend to want what everyong else has... and... when I can't get it I go into a mood... Juuuust like a kid. I don't know if what i said even justifies any of it... but.... it makes me feel a little better that I said it... But.... I don't want people and their pitty.... =___= If I want a subscription so baddly, I'll find a way to pay for one.... at least I hope I can...

... I'm sorry you guys had to endure that... <___<; I just.... had some things on my mind that was eating me alive... .___.;;; Please dun hate me...